Student Food!

Remember the food pyramid? Don't worry, neither do I. I probably shouldn't make fun of my eating habits but it's better than feeling unsettled and then actually doing something stupid like washing fruit. 

When I think about washing fruit, 'O Fortuna' plays in my head. 

During stu-vac ("study vacation") my eating just gets out of control. I develop some kind of guilt response because, after a few days, I realise that a diet that consists almost entirely of Doritos and Red Bull is going to make me lethargic and will eventually kill me. There's not a great deal I can do about it besides occasionally scarfing down the occasional banana and telling myself I'll exercise and eat some vegetables after exams. (Though the price of bananas lately is making even this feeble attempt at healthy eating impossible.) Sometimes, I'll start coming up with a lot of excuses.

KFC

Say what you will but there's a lot of protein in a deep-fried chicken breast. Protein is good. It keeps you full for longer. And we all know that chicken breast is a lean meat. It's good for you. If you get a bottle of water and coleslaw with your meal instead of soda pop and P&G, you're virtually on your way to becoming a poster child for NSW Health. The last time I checked, coleslaw is a vegetable. So are potato chips. If you have tomato sauce with your chips, you might as well be a champion of healthy eating. I recall getting a pharmacology lecture and learning that there's something in tomato sauce that's good for you. I rest my case.

Nutella

Food of the gods. And there's a picture of a glass of milk on the jar. Milk is healthy. So are nuts. So you're basically doing yourself a favour by eating a whole jar. I initially felt a bit ripped off when they changed the jars from glass to plastic but in retrospect, this makes them much more light-weight and suitable for backpack transport. Chuck a jar in your bag, steal a plastic spoon from a food court and presto, you have yourself a $4 meal that'll last you for a good few hours! It helps that every tastebud in your mouth will start orgasming with every spoonful. Note: If you're a real Olympian, you can take some wholegrain bread with you and then you have SANDWICH. 

Instant Noodles

No introduction necessary. Usually comes with a little packet of preserved VEGETABLES. Done. 

Vending machine food that tastes suspiciously bitter and doesn't have an expiry date:

Ok, I can't really justify this one. But we've all been there and despite the number of times the stupid machine has eaten your last $5 without so much as spitting out a peanut, we're thankful to Coca Cola Amatil and their large metal food dispensers. (Note: If it does eat your money, you can call them up and they'll send you a money order for the amount you were ROBBED OF. This is pretty fucking amazing.)

As far as I'm concerned, the vending machine is my best friend. The number of Kit Kats and grain chips I've scarfed out of these things is ludicrous. Granted, you have to pay a premium for the convenience but hey, it's exam time. It's not like you're spending money on anything besides the odd packet of highlighters and some buckets to catch all of your tears.